Massage And Grief

As Massage Therapists we support individuals through many different hurdles throughout their lives. Dealing with a new born, a child acting out at home, a fight with a spouse, a personal health scare or the death of a loved one, to name a few. No, we are not psychologists, but we are human, and we are fantastic listeners. Sometimes that's all one person needs. Someone who is uninvolved in the rest of their lives who they can talk openly and honestly with, without fear of judgement. I have had many regular clients who have come in, shoulders slumped, breathing shallow and energy lacking, people who I know well enough to read their signs, who are finally able to open up and share their grief. I have heard of grandfathers, brothers, daughters and husbands passing. A friend who has been diagnosed with cancer. A husband who has lost a job. Many times the clients sharing their stories are considered to be the Strong One, the one people depend on. They have not yet had the chance to deal with their own sorrow. Other times it has been months and their support system has moved on while their grief still feels raw.  There have been times where I have held and hugged them. Times where my hands stilled to allow them the chance to release their emotions. Many, many tissues passed around. 

Beyond listening, we have the privilege of healing through touch. Helping you to open up emotionally and physically. Think of the last time something devastating happened to you. My guess is that you were curled up in a ball, shoulders hunched, protecting your heart. People would give you polite hugs, but you barely felt them. They were scared to get too close, to ask too many questions or to see you cry. On the table we are able to reveal those deeply buried feelings, to let them out and give them a voice. We are able to open up your chest and free your heart from its burdens. We can support with our hands. And most importantly we can help you feel whole, valued and worthy again. Slowly we can pick up all the pieces and rebuild. We can't take away all the pain but we can surely help guide you on the path to healing.  

I had the honour of giving my Aunt her very first massage only months after losing her husband, my uncle. She was grieving, tears were shed and fears were verbalized. It was a challenge I was confident I could handle. We communicated throughout the treatment to make sure she was always comfortable and talked about different pain points, physically and emotionally. By the end of the massage I think we both felt a sense of healing, I know I did. I was reassured the next day when I received a text message from her. Now I could have just taken this message and posted it on our Testimonials page, but I think it deserves more than that. She put into words why I am so passionate about Massage Therapy and reassured me that I was on the right life path. With her permission, I will share her experience with you. 

"Kristy, I wanted to make sure you understand the impact you had on me by providing my first massage treatment. I was concerned about my body weight but you were non-judgemental and only made me feel beautiful. This was important to my comfort level, but it also reminded me of how Ron used to make me feel because he saw past the weight and always see me as the 97 lb. girl he married. Your touch also made me realize how much I've missed being touched since Ron died. Your beautiful space, the wonderful music, the peacefulness you provided me on Sunday has stayed with me still and I'm so grateful. I'm looking forward to my next massage now that I realize how professional and compassionate a massage therapist has to be to provide such an uplifting experience."

I am so proud of her coming to see me and sharing her experience during such a vulnerable time in her life. It still brings tears to my eyes when I read it as I am so grateful to have been given the chance to affect her so deeply, especially someone I love so dearly. While this may have been her first massage ever, it took an enormous amount of courage for her to come in. I love this. And I love taking on brand new clients, shifting them from terrified to empowered. But this is also one reason I encourage clients to come in for regular massages. You never know when you will be hit with tragedy. It is already difficult trying something new, but when you are grieving it seems impossible. If you have built that relationship of trust with your therapist, that fear fades away and you will benefit so much more from your treatment. 

I challenge other massage therapists reading this to remember compassion, acceptance and gratitude. Compassion for people whose whole story you will never know. Acceptance for all body types and viewpoints. Gratitude for having someone trust in you during a time where they feel trapped and vulnerable. We are placed in a position of power and there are so many amazing ways we can use it. Never underestimate the power of touch. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all those who have shared their story and their grief with me. I am honoured to have been a part of your healing. 

Kristy.

Why Massage is more than a Luxury

Why is it that people often feel guilty when they take care of themselves? You book yourself a massage labelling it as a luxury, wondering if it is worth the expense just to treat yourself.  Would the money be better spent on my children, spouse, bills? What gives me the right to be so selfish? If these thoughts are running through your mind then find out what makes massage a necessity rather than a luxury.

Although Massage therapy leaves you feeling amazing, it is more than treating yourself once or twice a year to some "me-time". It is more that a back rub with soothing music. A well trained registered massage therapist can add tons of benefits to your overall health routine.  Here is a list of 5 reasons why you need to integrate massage therapy into your lifestyle.

1. Self-Awareness. If regular massage does anything, it creates a sense of self-awareness when it comes to posture, pain and productivity. Many clients come in saying "I feel great today, I just wanted to treat myself". Only a few minutes into the massage the dialogue changes, "Wow, I didn't realize I was so tight there!".  We get so used to feeling pain and tension, it becomes our new normal. But it doesn't have to be that way! Coming in for regular massage will train your body and mind to recognize how good you are meant to feel and to notice what triggers your pain patterns. You will notice your posture improve while sitting at your desk at work, or catch yourself leaning consistently to one side while you're driving. You can often feel that nagging pain come on and you become able to stop it in its tracks by making the smallest of shifts. Even though you often leave your treatment with "massage-brain", it fades into mental clarity and renewed motivation to tackle your day. Being able to clear your thoughts and concentrate on your body will spill into the rest of your life, training your mind to focus and prioritize when necessary.

2. Improved Emotional State. Imagine yourself running around all day, putting everyone else's needs before your own, rarely hearing a thank you. Getting a massage will give you that opportunity to immerse yourself in a comfortable and emotionally supportive space where you can recharge. Being in the presence of another compassionate human being whose sole purpose is to make YOU feel better will remind you that you deserve to be treated with respect and gratitude. It will encourage you to create boundaries around how much you can give before it becomes a burden. And just watch, the people around you will THRIVE with these boundaries. They will begin to step in when help is needed and they will notice how much love and energy you contribute to their well-being.

3. Improved Sleep Patterns. Whether you are an insomniac because you are in chronic pain or because your mind just won't stop, regular massage can bring you back into balance and lead to a blissful nights sleep. Chronic pain does not disappear with a one stop fix, it has been brewing and building up over weeks, months and sometimes years. It will take regular and consistent treatments to break it down and make it a thing of the past. This is especially true if you are not changing any of your other lifestyle habits, which can include a repetitive job, not something you can give up on a moments notice. Racing mind is your problem? With physical touch we can decrease the levels of your stress hormone, cortisol. Not only does this help with depression, anxiety and pain, but massage can have a very therapeutic and meditative effect as well. Being given the opportunity to focus specifically and directly on your breathing and the sensations in different areas of your body can teach you to calm your mind and create space for your problems to simply drift by, stripping away their power. 

4. Injury Prevention. With all this talk about improving body awareness, decreasing stress, and improving mental clarity, it only makes sense that you will ultimately reduce any potential injuries. My clients who come in on a regular basis are able to pinpoint precisely what they are experiencing. For example, they can tell me exactly when they started to feel their back pain threaten to return, what they had been doing to aggravate it and how they were able to prevent it. Without the burden of a racing mind and stress overload, they are able to clearly feel each sensation within their bodies utilizing their refined sense of self-awareness. Although this may seem limiting, it ultimately encourages you to push yourself to your limit when it comes to exercising and working without having to cross that boundary leading to unexpected pain and injury. Respecting your bodies unique limits is the most liberating path to reaching your full potential. 

5. Education. A well trained registered massage therapist will continually educate you on how to best treat your body. You will leave your treatment armed with new tools on self-massage and home-care exercises.  You will be given an explanation on the possible reasons for why you have certain aches and pains. You will feel confident in sharing the benefits with your family and friends so that they too can feel better than ever! Ultimately you will be empowered to take control of your health and wellness throughout all aspects of life!

There is a reason why more and more companies are including massage therapy in their healthcare benefits packages. Registered Massage Therapists belong to professional organizations and following years of schooling must maintain continuing education credits to keep up to date with the newest theories and modalities. This is no longer a weekend course just as a massage is no longer just a luxury. Incorporate regular massage into your daily lifestyle and see how good you feel.